A few days ago, I celebrated my eighth anniversary in Amsterdam – yep, eight whole years. That’s far longer than I’ve lived anywhere except the village I grew up in, which I left as soon as was parentally permissible. And I’ve loved Amsterdam all that time, and I’ve always considered Amsterdam home. And yet just lately I’ve been getting itchy feet – isn’t there more of the world to see? World that’s a little less rainy and a little more customer-servicey?
In a bid to cure the itch, I decided that an anniversary outing was in order, and the Honey Badger put in the perfect pitch: “Why don’t we go and have a drink on that boat outside the library, and then try out that funny floating restaurant?” He had a point. In eight years, I’d still never eaten at the Amsterdam institution that is Sea Palace. It’s that mammoth Chinese pagoda you cruise past on every canal tour you’ve ever been on – you know, the one you see from the train as you go towards Utrecht. You cannot fail to notice it, and yet I bet I’m not the only Amsterdammer who’s never been.
(Barco, incidentally, was charming. A converted ship (possibly once a house boat?), it serves cocktails and tapas in a dockside venue that oozes cosiness and gezelligheid in winter, but which I can equally imagine throws its windows wide in summer for breezy, al fresco, white nights… We could have stayed for dinner, but we were determined to see through Plan A.)
And so it was that we stepped into the glorious state of kitsch that awaited us at Sea Palace. Think fountains and live fish in the entrance hall, an enormous phallic LED light in the middle of the bar, and more Oriental bling than you can shake a chopstick at. Contrastingly, the menu is standard Chinese-food-abroad, but then with a higher price ticket. Someone’s got to pay for the upkeep of all that 3D wall art, after all.
We ordered a couple of dim sum to start; the siu mai were perfectly flavoured and steamed; the scallop dumplings less expertly done. Next up, the crispy pork belly had been sliced before being fried, which meant that it had crisped up all over, rather than just on its skin – the result was an over-salty, over-dry dish that’s far better eaten elsewhere. The Sichuan chicken was about what you’d expect from a tourist-friendly version of the dish: a mild, inoffensive, umami-flavoured sauce featuring crunchy chunks of peppers and onions.
All in all, the food was nothing to write home about. Of course it wasn’t – we knew that before we walked in, if we’re honest. The service, on the other hand, was the level you’d expect from a restaurant that’s been welcoming American tourists for 30 years – remarkably good. We spent €90 on dinner for two, including a lovely bottle of Pinot Noir, which was less than expected given the prime real estate.
Don’t go to Sea Palace expecting authentic hole-in-the-wall Chinese food – you’ve got the Zeedijk for that. But don’t write it off just because you’re a diehard Amsterdammer: sometimes a floating pagoda full of Oriental ornaments and giant goldfish is all the world you need to remind you why you live here…
