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Post-Pride Puffelen

For some reason, gay men are crazy about me. They’re so much more crazy about me than straight men it’s not even funny. On Saturday night, one of them said to me, in all seriousness: ‘Vicky, I think I’ve become a little bit obsessed with you’. He was gorgeous and American and had electric blue eyes and I wished – just wished – that I got anything like that amount of attention from someone who might be into girls.

But still, attention’s attention and I can’t get enough of it, so imagine my joy when I was invited out on a dinner date with no less than eight men on Friday night. I picked the restaurant, obviously (it was Open, in case you’re interested). They brought me presents of hand-illustrated erotica.

The next day, of course, was Gay Pride here in Amsterdam, which is why they were all over from London in the first place. Having already attended a pre-Pride party with them the night before, they invited me for drinks in the afternoon at their suite in the Negen Straatjes (it rained on our parade), and proceeded to develop a strange fascination with my breasts. (I think I might be over-sharing again.)

Anyway, after all this excitement, I was very hungry and a little bit partied out. So a couple of friends and I decided to head down the road to Cafe van Puffelen for a bit of a post-Pride chill-out-and-debrief. Puffelen is the kind of cosy that makes more sense in winter than summer, but it was a rainy night and the terrace was not an option; it all felt strangely comforting and womb-like.

I had a merguez lamb burger with mozzarella, potato wedges and various sauces. It was mildly spicy, generously portioned, and spot-hittingly satisfying. Although I still proceeded to eat half my friend’s chicken afterwards. We drank Rioja and discussed boys (gay, straight or otherwise) until we were almost falling asleep on our plates…

Having not managed to set the world to rights, nor unravel the mystery that is men, the only conclusion we could draw from the weekend was this. Fact: if you’re a straight man, pretend to be gay. Women will let you stare at/touch/take photos of their breasts for no apparent reason. Even self-proclaimed feminists. It’s all very odd.

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Cafe van Puffelen (Dutch eetcafe)
€€

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